What’s it really like becoming a freelancer?

First of all - I just turned 28! 🥳✨

It’s been three months since I left my nonprofit job and started pursuing my life as a full-time freelancer! This has been a very exciting move but I want to get real with you for a minute. I feel like I’m still recovering from the effects of nonprofit life, and a regular work life in general.

I have never been a morning person - and I mean NOT AT ALL. If I don’t have to be somewhere, I won’t usually start my day until about noon. And although my schedule has always been flexible - when working a desk job as well as now -  I realized that I harbor a lot of shame around not being able to conform to the traditional capitalistic “9-to-5” schedule of productivity.  

Even at a day job, it’s always been hard for me to “turn off” my working mind and to “leave work at work.” But that’s a whole other blog post.

Becoming aware of my thought and behavior patterns around “productivity” or “working” time (or lack thereof) is helping me embrace my internalized guilt. I’ve come to accept that I’m often more externally motivated rather than internally motivated, which means that I’m more likely to be accountable to someone else’s expectation rather than my own (!) Being my own boss (in work and in life), I’m dealing with this by setting clear deadlines for a project that a client can hold me accountable to, or making plans in advance to go workout with a friend, rather than tell myself I’ll do it if I feel like it. 

Source: The Cosmic Feminist

Additionally, setting boundaries such as only checking and responding to work emails during set hours, and turning off distracting media after a certain time are things I’m still working on, but that I know are integral to my wellbeing as a freelancer. 

And then let’s talk about the constant feeling of being an “imposter” - that I’m not actually that great at what I do, despite past achievements, and that other people are more qualified than me, so why should I try? 

I’ve noticed that the people around me experiencing the most success at what they do aren’t worried about the illusion of perfection - they are just DOING, CREATING, and PUTTING THEMSELVES OUT THERE, actively.  And by doing this, they show others (and themselves) that they are beyond capable of everything they set out to do. Not imposters at all.

At the end of the day, I know that I cannot fail. I know that I’ve absolutely made the right decision to be my own boss and to never look back at a life that had me constantly stressed, burnt-out, and hung-up on others’ needs over my own. 

Being a freelancer means I’m able to develop the schedule, methods, and means of productivity that work best for ME, in order to live my passions in the best way possible.

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